I must admit that sometimes my time on the internet can be rather wasteful - just playing around and doing nothing - leading to wastefulness of my time at home. I'm sure many struggle with this. I go back and forth between loving and hating Facebook status's/tweeting/blogging. I enjoy having an outlet to other adults and a type of "communication" throughout my otherwise home-child-bound day. But I also get into "trouble" sometimes. Facebook/blogs gives me more to gossip about, more to criticize others for, more to compare myself to and so on.
This weekend was very different from most days because I turned my cell phone off (eliminating calls, texts and tweets) and had no access to the Internet. I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED every second of no connection to anyone but the physical people surrounding me. Life seemed easier. I didn't feel the need to compare, please, feel guilty, feel selfish and prideful. I felt like I was away from the real cyber world I live in most days.
Like everything else, all good things must come to an end. I came home and had to reply to emails (which I admit to writing a few sinful things in), start sending texts (which as usual were misinterpreted and led to more sin), check my Facebook and blog.
But this weekend I was also able to reflect on my behavior/attitude and heart in the past few weeks. I am realizing that I've been experiencing a lot of conflict and hurt in relationships. Part of it may be hormonal, but most of it is just my pride and my sinful heart. I know God has caused me to go through these things for a reason, to get my attention and mold me into a more godly woman. I also have realized that I cannot run from these relationships when they start to get a little messy. This is what God intended to happen in life - for us to enter into relationships/community (and unfortunately for us, sin causes them to be imperfect). I teach myself and my coaches that sports outreach is all about bringing out the hearts of people - a great place for this to happen because of competition. We (sports outreach people) love conflict and moments where ministry can happen. So why am I trying to run from these relationships now? No matter how disconnected I make myself from the world, I cannot protect myself from my own pride and hurt from others. I know the steps I need to take in letting God shape me. But how should I approach the Internet - the place where heartfelt, random, or ugly things are written and said for anyone and their mother to read?
The answer God gave me:
I just sat down to check my email one last time for the day and found this article in my inbox by John Piper (one of my favorites) entitled, "Why and How I'm Tweeting". I immediately knew this email was for me from the big man. Thank you God - for answering my prayer through precisely the way I needed it answered - the Internet.
Here is a tidbit:
Now what about Twitter? I find Twitter to be a kind of taunt: “Okay, truth-lover, see what you can do with 140 characters! You say your mission is to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things! Well, this is one of those ‘all things.’ Can you magnify Christ with this thimble-full of letters?”
To which I respond:
The sovereign Lord of the earth and sky
Puts camels through a needle’s eye.
And if his wisdom see it mete,
He will put worlds inside a tweet.
“All things were created through Christ and for Christ” (Colossians 1:16). The world does not know it, but that is why Twitter exists and that’s why I Tweet. John Piper
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